50 reasons I’m sorry

Things I need to own

1. I’m sorry for being mean when you deserved kindness.
2. I’m sorry for shouting instead of speaking calmly.
3. I’m sorry for swearing and making my words hurt more.
4. I’m sorry for letting frustration become your problem.
5. I’m sorry for making you feel small or unheard.
6. I’m sorry for speaking before I had thought things through.
7. I’m sorry for using harsh words that stayed with you.
8. I’m sorry for taking a bad mood out on you.
9. I’m sorry for making an argument louder than it needed to be.
10. I’m sorry for not lowering my voice when I knew you were upset.
11. I’m sorry for failing to notice how much I had hurt you.
12. I’m sorry for expecting patience from you without showing the same patience.
13. I’m sorry for interrupting instead of letting you finish.
14. I’m sorry for listening to reply rather than listening to understand.
15. I’m sorry for making you repeat your feelings.
16. I’m sorry for caring more about winning an argument than protecting us.
17. I’m sorry for forgetting that we are on the same team.
18. I’m sorry for reacting defensively when you were trying to be honest.
19. I’m sorry for making excuses instead of taking responsibility.
20. I’m sorry for expecting one apology to fix everything instantly.
21. I’m sorry for making you feel responsible for calming me down.
22. I’m sorry for bringing old mistakes into new disagreements.
23. I’m sorry for saying things I did not truly mean.
24. I’m sorry for ever using silence to punish you.
25. I’m sorry for being stubborn when I should have been gentle.
26. I’m sorry for not asking what you needed from me.
27. I’m sorry for ignoring the signs that you needed a pause.
28. I’m sorry for letting jealousy speak for me.
29. I’m sorry for making you feel as though you had to prove your love.
30. I’m sorry for complaining without recognising all the effort you give.
31. I’m sorry for ever swearing at you or making you feel unsafe in a conversation.
32. I’m sorry for promising to change and then losing focus.
33. I’m sorry for not taking a breath before answering.
34. I’m sorry for taking space in a way that felt like abandonment.
35. I’m sorry for not checking in properly after a disagreement.
36. I’m sorry for adding to your anxiety.
37. I’m sorry for disturbing the peace you deserved.
38. I’m sorry for saying sorry without showing you a plan.
39. I’m sorry for ever taking your forgiveness for granted.
40. I’m sorry for forgetting that your feelings matter just as much as mine.
41. I’m sorry for assuming you would always understand me.
42. I’m sorry for choosing pride over tenderness.
43. I’m sorry for making our relationship feel tense.
44. I’m sorry for not protecting your heart with my words.
45. I’m sorry for failing to communicate what I was really feeling.
46. I’m sorry for not learning to calm myself sooner.
47. I’m sorry for ever making you doubt how loved you are.
48. I’m sorry for any moment when you felt alone beside me.
49. I’m sorry for every time my behaviour did not match my love.
50. I’m sorry because you deserve better from me, and I’m committed to doing better.

An apology only matters if it comes with changed behaviour. I will practise pausing, listening, speaking respectfully and giving you room when you need it. You should feel loved by my actions as well as my words.